Because I need to sort out a lot of things...

I never did learn how to argue properly,
not when my arguments are mostly based on how I feel
and I couldn't really describe my feelings.
I can't explain why I can't choose sides but
I know, or rather feel, that I'm right. Only sometimes, I feel that there's something wrong with being right, specially when...
I think my thoughts are too wordy.
I'm too selfish and that clashes with my concern for a lot
of people I shouldn't feel concerned about in the first place.
I'm certain that there are things that I hear
and read that greatly affects me- and influences the
kind of issues that I would have.
God is still there, but so are the questions and the more that
I try to push those questions at the back of my mind
the more that I find it difficult to hold on to his existence in my
mind.
Yes, God EXISTS. It's just me. Just a teeny weeny part of me that's
obsessed with challenging even the truth.(Oh and just so you know, that tiny part knows God exists-- for other people, that is.)
I don't what should I be, and it's easier to decide that I should be nothing,
no, not normal, because normal people at least get to be something (or somebody- I don't care). Normal people fight for at least one thing in their
life, and I'm so confuse what to fight for (or what I'm fighting for) it's so much easier to stay in the sideline and let normal people do the fighting.
I have dreams... but now I'm not sure if they do matter.
And I'm not depressed, just doing more thinking than what's healthy. And I need to let these thoughts out before they interfere with my "normal-everyday-self" act.